It’s been over a decade since my journey with a complex illness that nearly killed me and left me bedridden in my 20s for years. I still remember sitting in the doctor’s office and the doctor looking at my labs and saying, “I can tell from your labs you are really sick…I just don’t know from what. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can help you. I think you need a specialist.”

“What I didn’t know that day is, I was standing on a great precipice, one that would force me to see the dark corners of a medical system that couldn’t save me, and teach me how to survive by learning to heal myself. ”

Though I won’t name the complex disease I battled in this post, what I share is for anyone navigating the complexities of disease, chronic illness, or a health crisis that has turned their life upside down. These are the things I wish someone had told me that I had to learn after years of navigating a complex path. It would have saved me time, thousands of dollars, and given me clarity when I needed it most.

1). The Medical System Was Severely Lacking and I lost Years of My Life

I was luckier than most. I got a diagnosis fairly quickly, but only because I researched it myself. Before that, I was getting lost in misdiagnosis with incorrect labs, drowning in medical debt, and debilitating pain. However, what made it complex was having a multitude of health issues and piecing it together years later. It wasn’t just the misdiagnosis and labs, it was not making progress after years of treatment that I needed and nearly killed me.

I remember thinking as years went on that it was impossible to heal the health complexities I was dealing with. What I found is a path that led to healing and I kept walking it, addressing each health issue and crossing it off my list. I had lost over ten years of my life and yet I managed to find healing, which showed me we shouldn’t underestimate our ability to heal. Even though I still have some health issues I’m actively trying to heal, I am grateful for the immense amount of progress I made.

2). What Heals One Person May Not Work for Another

As I spoke to other patients and doctors along my path, I found out the hard way that certain solutions that worked for a patient didn’t necessarily work for me. It was just like how chemo helped one person but not another, and I found this difficult and I found this to be quite difficult. When you try different treatments and you go into it hopeful then find out after all the time and money spent that it didn’t work for you, it can be disorienting. It taught me though that there was still a solution even when I thought I hit a dead end.

3). Medical Gaslighting is Real

Before I got sick, I didn’t realize medical gaslighting was so prominent. Yet as I spoke to others that walked me through their painful journey of disease and chronic illness, I realized I wasn’t alone in my experiences when it came to medical gaslighting and it was a sad truth that I had to heal from.

4). Grief Becomes a Strange Companion, Not Just a Stage

My journey carried multifaceted grief that stayed with me throughout the years. I learned what it was like to lose everything and have it stripped away. Loss of body, hobbies due to being too sick, people, money, career, everything I owned.

“Grief at certain stages was unbearable and as the years went on, it became a constant, a teacher, a witness of the tragedy I endured. It was weaved into my healing journey not just as a stage, but a strange companion that taught me how to heal. ”

5). What Didn’t Work Years Ago May Help at a Later Time

I thought one of the most fascinating things I experienced on my healing journey was how a treatment that didn’t work well for me in the beginning was able to support me at a later time. Sometimes when our body is dealing with a heavy load we heal some of it and by doing so, we lighten the load our body is carrying. It made sense to me why a treatment I couldn’t handle in the beginning or didn’t work well was aiding me on my healing journey at a later time.

6). Healing Required a Multifaceted Approach

Most people think that with disease or chronic illness you can get pharmaceutical prescriptions and everything will be ok. I didn’t realize before I was bedridden for years that pharmaceuticals don’t always get to the root of healing and how severe symptoms can occur from pharmaceuticals. I didn’t know it was a band-aid and not a cure sometimes. Other times, it does cure someone.

Due to my experience, it plunged me on a path of supporting my body systematically, balancing pharmaceuticals and herbs. Throughout the years, people with health challenges have crossed my path. My experience has allowed me to educate and help them in ways I never could have without going through my own health struggles.

6 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Got Sick